Horse Classified Ads - Funny

Big trot - Can't canter within a 2 mile stretch

Nicely started - Lunges, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet

Top show horse - Won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusually low Entries due to a hurricane

Home bred - Knows nothing despite being home-grown

Bold - Runaway

Good mover - Runaway

Athletic - Runaway

Needs intermediate rider - Runaway

Needs experienced rider - DEAD Runaway

Dead quiet - Just dead

Spirited - Psychotic

Recently vetted - Someone else found something badly wrong with this horse

Any vet check welcome - Please pay for us to find out what the !@#$ is wrong with him!

Big boned - Good thing this horse has mane and tail or would be mistaken for cow

Doing courses - When tranquilized to the eyeballs and lunged six hours straight before

Well mannered - Hasn't stepped on, bitten or kicked anyone for a week

Professionally trained - Hasn't stepped on, bitten or kicked anyone for a week

Started O/F - Started overfeeding because can't ride

Should mature 16 hands - Currently 13hh, dam is 14.2hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15hh, but this horse will defy his DNA and grow

To good home only - Not really for sale unless you can pay twice what he is worth, allow current owner to tuck in beddy-bye every night, and are willing to sign a 10 page legal document

No vices - Especially when he wears his muzzle

Light cribber - We can't afford to build any more stable and fences for this chainsaw

No time for him - He's lucky to be fed

Excellent disposition - Never been out of his stable

Good to clip, shoe, box - Clippety clippety is the sound his hooves make when he drags you across the yard as you try to box him

For sale due to lack of time - Rider cannot afford to spend any more time in hospital

Well bred - Mother and father are also brother and sister

Black - Brown and/or dirty

Suitable for eventing - No brakes

Suitable for dressage - No accelerator

Suitable for anyone - Except us, we hate him

Always in ribbons - The shows we went to gave complementary rosettes for all who entered

Always placed - The shows we went to were so small that there were no more than 3 in each class

Skyhorse Ranch - Andalusian horse breeder in Texas with Andalusian horses for sale. Breeders of PRE Pura Raza Espanola horses with cartas from Spain. Selling black, grey, and bay Andalusians. Recommend Andalusian stallions at stud. Pictures, history, facts, and info. Spanish Andalusian horse farm. Bloodlines from Spain in the USA.

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